Lunar Cycles
by temporary relief
Summary: Lunar cycles and phases. He sees them and relates them to his life and to their relationship. One shot.


**Disclaimer: I do not own CSI:NY.**

**Notes: I haven't forgotten about The One With The CSI's. I know I have to write the wedding. I'm stuck so this is just a muse. Like always, enjoy.**

**Lunar Cycles**

New. Waxing crescent. First quarter. Waxing gibbous. Full. Waning gibbous. Third quarter. Waning crescent. More commonly known in four parts. New moon. Waxing. Full moon. Waning. One cycle. Always the same. Unless a rarity. An eclipse. Solar. Lunar. Different but similar. He sat down watching the stars and contemplating the nebulae. The stars, less magnificent above 'The City That Never Sleeps', shone gallantly proudly displaying the myths of the past. The stories one was told in school. The most wonderfully brilliant battles of old. Zeus and Hera the king and queen of the gods. They ruled the skies and the earth keeping things in check. Artemis, the goddess of the moon and hunting, controlled the phases of the lunar satellite.

The phases, their relationship. Together. Separate. Blended. Broken. Healed. That's just the way it was. Nothing he could do about it. He tried to fix things. Somehow those times made it worse. Messing up was just a part of life. To him, that was a hard thing to grasp. Conscience. His life was controlled by it. Sometimes it strangled him. It kept him in check even if it was choking his word choice. When he slipped through its cracks, an eclipse formed. Words were said that weren't meant. Then the moon would move, and so it ended. A solar eclipse was, after all, the rarest of eclipses. Sometimes he felt the white hot heat from the son surge through his veins. It took all he was to keep it in his veins. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.

There it was in the sky. The new moon. It's darkness referencing the darkness he felt in their relationship. It would blossom and wilt later. It always did. There wasn't a change. Ever. Not for lack of trying. For lack of succeeding. Many times they tried. Not together. Separate. Always. He closed his eyes. The stars were imprinted in his eyes. He saw the constellations there. He wondered if his stories would be displayed up there for the generations to see and remember. He smiled at the thought. Maybe he and she would be remembered in the galaxy. Them forever in the stars. Lasting.

Waxing. Their relationship strengthened. It always would. This time it might take a while. Harsh words exchanged. Mistakes made. Apologies ignored. It was only a part of this relationship. It was. It is. It would be. Always. He had made his plea. Now he waited as she decided. She would eventually forgive him. Always. She did always. It made them stronger. It built them. Each fight may have knocked out a brick in their wall, but it eventually cemented the other bricks adding more as they went. Someday they wouldn't break the wall down. They wouldn't be able to.

Full moon. Their relationship strongest it will ever be until the next phase. Then he would try to tell her what she meant to him. How much she meant to him. How much he needed her. One day he would. Why not then? He put that thought into the back of his mind. He thought of the risks and the rewards. He remembered her hand on his arm. The warmth and the peace. He needed her. He wanted more. That was something he couldn't have. He had to accept that. Whenever he tried to say something, it came out wrong. Then the waning begin.

Waning. It was harsh. Uncensored. Limitless. They dug at things that should be left buried. They hurt each other. They didn't want to. Words were not thought about. They were said. He needed to say what he felt before he ended up saying something. He wanted to end this cycle. He felt he couldn't. If this was like the moon, ending this cycle would wreak havoc. The tides kept things in order. Without the moon's gravitational pull, the waters would be placid and stale and breeding grounds for things. Without this cycle, chaos would be in control. He needed this cycle. But he was not the water of the earth. He had to know that. He didn't need this cycle. He could survive without it. His life wouldn't be in chaos.

What he wanted was definitely more than friendship. He wanted the kind of relationship that he just kept going back for more. An open the refrigerator even though you are stuffed and you don't know why you come back kind of relationship. He just wanted something more than what they had. He had to change that. He had to know how she felt. Of course if he failed, their work would be affected. He couldn't risk losing his friend. He sunk down and sighed. He looked back up at the stars and saw her name written in them. He stood up looking around waiting for something. What he didn't know. He had to make a choice. He, however, had chosen this choice long ago. He walked away from his roof after one last look at the stars.

There he was at her door. Waiting for her to answer. He needed to know. Whatever she did say. He needed to know. He wanted to know. He craved to know. He didn't want his life to be a pattern or just phases. He wanted spontaneity and creativity. She opened the door surprised to see him. He saw the same stars in the night sky in her eyes. In her name. In her. He saw the burning energy from those stars in her eyes. Her beautiful green eyes. And then he told her. He told her. She read him like an open book. An open book. She wanted to keep reading, but he didn't know how to read her expression. He closed himself.

"Wait"

**Fin**

**After Notes: I hope you guys liked that. I hope it made sense. Just a one shot. I hope you guessed that the he was Mac, and the she was Stella. Also even if she realizes this or not this story was influenced by lily moonlight. I was inspired by her story **_**Ships**_**. She writes so wonderfully. I hope you guys liked that. I know I've said that. Please review! Hope you all had a great day! :D**


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